Bogeys and brewskis are on tap when 'Drinks on the Links' golfers play
KRISTIN DIZON
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER REPORTER
(originally published July 2, 2004)

The finely tuned athletes who play "Drinks on the Links," are a single-minded, sober bunch. Their concentration while scouting a putt is legendary, as is their ability to mine the greens for every bit of intelligence.

All right, that was a wee bit of fiction. Actually, the players are a fun group known more for their ability to chug beers than for their par games. What else would you expect at Seattle's only adult minigolf league, where the most valuable player wears the "green hoodie" sweatshirt, rather than the Masters' green jacket?

Now in its second year, Drinks on the Links pairs the love of competition with the nostalgia of a fun childhood activity, all in a "sport" that's hard to take too seriously. On a real golf course, one probably would be banned for life for wearing high-heeled, divot-digging mules to play. Not so in this league, held at the city-owned Interbay Golf Center.

Lanny Milholland may use a $150 Ping putter on the course, rather than the rubber-tipped clubhouse standard, but he's in it for fun -- mostly.

"No, I can't take this seriously," said Milholland, 27. "But everybody wants to win."

Fortunately, his team, Morning Wood, holds a daunting 30-stroke lead over their closest competitor in the 16-team field.

His teammate and fellow competitive golfer, Ann Epler, admitted that they hadn't just shown up. "We did practice before the first season," said Epler, whose minigolf time helps her read the line and slope of a hole for putting on true greens.

But, the team's competitive spirit and sheer zeitgeist for the game is probably most reflected in their coordinated attire -- golf caps topped with green pom-poms and taupe argyle socks. The outfits have contributed to their rep as the most hard-core team in the league.

"We're serious in a fun way," says Jori Cohen, 29, who acts as the team's scorekeeper because she drinks the least alcohol.

Around the country, minigolf can be a more serious pursuit, with some tournaments offering prize purses of up to $20,000.

But even if you're a putt-putt whiz, don't quit your day job.

"I wouldn't say that anyone makes a living at it," said Paul Hemingway, one of six directors at the Professional Miniature Golf Association. "It's more of a weekend warrior thing where people play several tournaments."

In recent years, league play has been mostly for kids, but Hemingway said adult leagues have increased in the past 10 years or so.

"Of course, it'll never be to the extent of the Professional Golfers Association," Hemingway added. "But, in a way, it's nice that a fluky hobby had made its way into competition."

The five-week Drinks on the Links is run by Underdog Sports Leagues, which hosts coed, recreational sports leagues that emphasize fun and participation. The company offers kickball, flag football, bowling, basketball, volleyball, soccer and softball.

"I don't know where this fits as a sport. It may not be a sport," said Shawn D. Madden, "but it's entertaining." Madden is the company president, and known as "the ambassador of fun."

Underdog's motto is, "laidback leagues for everyday players." Their mascot is a gym-shorts-wearing dog that stands upright on two legs and clutches a beer.

In the case of Drinks on the Links, the beer sells for $2 at the portable bar on hole 14. Players must be 21 or over to join.

If a player knocks one into the cup in a single stroke on a "drink" hole, they earn a free beer. On a prize hole, they might win a bucket of balls at the driving range.

When a player sinks a great putt, whoops of triumph fill the air. Holes that are bogeyed and beyond usually are lamented as the agony of defeat.

"Anyone! Anyone? Hole in one!!" shouted Nichole Francis, clamoring for her ice-cold brew. She had just hit a hole-in-one on the maddening hole 8, where the cup is in the middle of a cone-shaped hill. Tap it slightly too hard or soft and the ball rolls back down the slope, sometimes again and again.

Francis, whose team, Nichole and the Tremendous Slouches, were champions last year, said the amount of sunshine is directly proportionate to the degree of party atmosphere.

"I think the nicer the weather, the more obnoxious you'll find it. And the more beer drunk," she said.

The teammates of Yo Mama, who met each other while playing flag football with Underdog, say it's not unusual for them to consume four to five beers per capita during 18 holes.

"We fit in perfect -- because none of us are athletes," said team captain Dwight Battle, 27. It's a great way to spend time with friends and be outside in the summer without getting hot and sweaty, he added.

The fun-loving team once nabbed the flag from a hole and climbed up the man-made rock waterfall. They still laugh about "the unfortunate incident," when a teammate tripped into a bush, then fell into the concrete "stream" that runs alongside much of the course. He was not hurt.

Even cheating or creative scorekeeping is handled with amusement.

For Drinks on the Links, all the players had to sign an "honest policy." If caught cheating, a player will be made fun of on the league Web site.

WANNA PLAY?

Drinks on the Links' next league starts Tuesday at Interbay, followed by an Aug. 10 league. A new one starts July 15th at Willows Run in Bellevue. It costs $295 for a team of three men and three women (with up to 10 players total) or $60 for an individual, who will be matched with a team. www.underdogseattle.com or 206-320-8326